Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing happy birthday to you.
how it feels to chew 5 gum
i am in dire need of affection and attention and cuddles and kisses FUCK
if you like the same person as me i will make your life miserable
IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE WAS A KNOCK AT MY DOOR SO I CAUTIOUSLY OPENED THE DOOR THEN TWO DRUNKEN GUYS SHOUTED “SURPRISE” THEN LOOKED AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND WENT “FUCK WE’RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE” AND RAN AWAY DOWN THE STREET OH MY GOD
FYI: NEVER tell a girl, “Hey sweetie, how about a smile?” For all you know, her mouth is filled with bees.
the best moment in cinematic history
we should have a “where are they now” for bloggers who’ve deleted
I’m not saying we should have sex but we should